11 Months Later...

I originally posted this in early February 2010. Nothing has changed since then, except that days on the calendar. I recommitted to my weight loss journey through Weight Watchers on October 5, 2010 at my original start weight. I'm not proud of regaining the lost weight, but I am happy that I "maintained." I have struggled with some health issues over the last year, but I am determined to fuel my body in the healthiest way and hope that the scale eventually follows.

Background Stats:
Weight Watchers Start Date: Tuesday, August 14, 2007Start Age: 19

Start Weight: 176 pounds

Lowest Weight: 140.8 pounds

REPOST: Must I look in the mirror to get a reflection?
-My two three year Weight Watchers anniversary was Friday, August 14, 2009 Saturday, August 14, 2010. I remember my very first meeting like it was yesterday. I remember I was wearing rolled up jeans because I was too fat for my capri pants. I took my mom with me...I joined as soon as I walked through the door, and she just sat in on the meeting. I came home that day and followed the plan immediately. I had great success losing, and was down 35 pounds by the end of the year. I felt great, looked great, and had the highest self-esteem I had ever had.

How does that compare to now?
-Fast forward...today I shamefully admit that I am almost exactly back to the person I was when I first began Weight Watchers. As of January 18, 2011 I weigh 176.4 pounds. I am wearing size 14 pants once again. I am struggling with bras, because the cup runneth over on some. I look bloated. I have difficulty sleeping and sitting because my belly protrudes. Despite all of those unflattering aspects, there are a few things I kept from my "skinny version." I still have some self confidence. It is more about knowing I am a genuine good person than confidence about my body, but this is still a step above the old "fat version." I still also know that I am strong enough to make this journey. Truthfully, I hurt every day because of my weight. Excess weight is as much a physical battle as it is a mental battle. I am uncomfortable and disappointed in myself.

What got in the way?
-The only reason I gained weight back is because I let myself. I have made excuses. I convinced myself that work, socializing, and dating were higher on my priority list than healthy eating and weight management. I found little reasons to skip the gym, whether it be a little overtime at work, or wanting to eat dinner with my family. I accept that my actions (or lack of actions for that matter) are the main cause of my weight relapse. However, I do question a medicine I have been taking since May 2008. I feel that it has contributed to some of my weight gain, but this is not proven. I am not able to quit taking the medicine, so hopefully I can overcome its' side effect. Medications are a legitimate, although unwanted reason, for weight gain; excuses are not.


What I can I do to remedy the situation?
-I have already started changing my habits AGAIN. I know how to properly nourish my body with water, whole grains, dairy, protein, fruit, vegetables, and healthy oil. I know I should limit alcohol and sugar. I know that exercise is important. I know these things, yet I have not been practicing them. That is changing now. I am determined to follow the Weight Watchers plan. I know that it works, and I will be successful. In fact, I am using a coping tool from the program: Positive Thinking/Self-Talk.

Out With the Old, In With the New...Cheers to a New Beginning

There it is folks, the honest truth about where I am two three and a half years after beginning my Weight Watchers journey. I am ashamed, unhappy, and frustrated, but I am also accepting, knowledgable, and prepared. I will not give up. My long-term goal is to lose right around 50 pounds. My short-term goal is to take control of my eating in each individual day. I am taking this journey one day at a time.


-Tracy